Sunday, 8 September 2013

A Little Good Girl





There is this very little girl who is also a very good girl, and everyone knows it is not easy to be so little and so good at the same time. She goes running to her school from the gate to the classroom, and she writes her alphabet and tiny words that she learns every day. She eats her lunch and dinner although not a lot of it always, except when she is really really hungry. She chats with her best and better friends, and loves birthday parties and gets sad when the magician would not call her on stage for the tricks, and gets nervous when he does finally call. She gets bullied by other girls and boys of her age who are not so little for some funny reason. She gets scolded by her teacher often when she talks in class, especially on Mondays – but I know she is only telling stories of the weekend to her best friend, and it’s okay to do that. She runs sweetly slow and never wins a race and dislikes all things sporty, more or less. She likes teddies and dolls and little invisible toys and friends and I think she secretly likes those princess Barbies that she is not allowed to play with. When she laughs, our home gets lit up and fills with tingly music. When she cries, her face goes really sad and beautiful and it rains quietly, in a sad corner of the bedroom that is kept aside for tears and other such stuff. But good thing is that she smiles and laughs much more than she cries. She does a lot of things really well – like she dances like a flower in the breeze, without a care in the world, and that too Bharatnatyam which is very difficult to spell and dance. She reads so amazingly …and reads and reads up all her storybooks so fast that she needs to start all over again. She always listens to what Maa says and Baba says and you would not have seen a more obedient girl in the whole wide world. But most of all, what makes her the best little girl is that she gives the best, tightest, warmest, smiliest hugs and cuddles and love to you whenever you are sad and ask for it.

Motherhood



Got myself subscribed for several baby newsletters in 2006 while I waited for Heeya. She was born in January 2007.

One subscription continued as she kept growing up. And among other things, it still sends me these nothings that I love to read.

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Even as your child strives to become her own person, she can never break the bond she has with you.

You have a connection that goes back to before she was born, one that's propped up by affection, memories, and hormones.

When a mom holds her 8-year-old or watches her in a school play, she gets a little hit of oxytocin, a literal reminder of the first hours with her baby.

And when she will kiss an "owie" or help out with homework, they're cementing an attachment that will last for years.

It's enough to make the mom fall in love all over again.

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In summary, a little part of me existing outside of me as another human being. With a scent I could separate from a million fragrances. With a touch that is unexplainably personal. With a voice that echoes my pet words. And a smile that reminds of a warm moist bundle dropping in my arms with her string still tied to me.

Yes she will outgrow. My arms, my cuddlings, me. And soon.

Still, there will be no passion in life more poignant than motherhood. No memory that will remain more treasured than hers.

No person who will ever matter more.