Montage

 

1.

Workday lunch between meetings. Rhea and me at home. 

"Ma I need water."

"Finish the food first. Water in between food dilutes digestive juices". 

I buy time with my eyes on the laptop.

A minute later.

"Juices ... seriously ! Ma, I NEED water."

"Rhea finish up the food first." 

Cant even ask her to fetch herself as the glasses are beyond her reach.

"MA I NEED WATER. 

My throat is as dry as the dried riverbed in Shantiniketan. Even a drop will do."

Exasperated and guilty, I give up and get up. 

"Drama Queen !" I mutter under the breath. 

"No, that's Didi. I am the Drama Princess."

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2. 

The quintessential first dental appointment. Been there for Heeya, seen that, sat endlessly on a paediatric dentist's chair for months on with her on my lap. Repeat play after 6 years. 

"Ma I'm scared."

"Hm. So what do you usually do when you are scared."

"I sit at a corner for two or three hours."

"And then ?"

"Then continue with my normal day."

"OK. Good. That's one way. There's another that I follow. A surer one."

"What is that."

"Just do it. The scare and fear is instantly gone. Shall we try it at the dentist's today."

"What ?! What if I bleed and die in 'just doing it'." Rhea shows a quote-unquote gesture.

With the younger one, I am never ready for the retorts. 

Tailpiece : 

Pretty much nothing worked. The dentist got half bitten on two of her fingers and half kicked under her chin even after two assistants tried pinning down the patient. Thankfully, nobody bled to death.

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3.

Rhea is in bed reading. I have a rare early night and just as am about to turn the lights off and kiss her goodnight, there is a quiet bomb blast.

"Ma how do you know I am not a transgender ?"

Ouch.

Pause.

She is seven.

"Where did you learn that word Rhea"

"Didi told me"

"And do you know what it means?"

"Of course. It means either a girl's mind in a boy's body or a boy's mind in a girl's body."

Here I am unsure of what to say next.

She goes on.

"But Ma, what is this girl mind. How do you even know you have a girl or  boy mind. I mean I have a girl body but what mind ? What is your mind ? Girl or boy."

I find a floater to survive.

"Alright do you like wearing hairbands and well, earrings and eyeliner and look pretty?"

"Yes I do. Sometimes. All the time is boring."

"Yes sometimes is fine. But that is a girl mind. Now imagine a boy likes that as well and dresses up like a girl. Then we say the boy probably has a boy body but girl mind."

I can only hope I nailed it.

"But Ma. I love wearing boy clothes as well. My jeans and my t shirts and cap and I like playing with them and with Baba with football and do other fun boy things. So what's my mind ? Tell me !"

I need urgent aid. Anybody there. Anyone.

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4. 

Early winter mornings are cold. And warm. 

"What will you have for breakfast ?" 

"How about a snuggle Ma.."

"Alright (snuggle 1 2 3 and when it doesn't end) hey who will cook breakfast ..."

"Keep your hair on Ma. God will."

"Really. Is he even a good cook."

"Ma, is God a he or a she."

"Good question. I don't know. What do you think."

"I think she...I think God is a bit like Didun. So let's just assume breakfast is cooking and let's just snuggle back."

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5. 

She is a reasonably independent girl at seven. Post bath dressing on her own time as I dry her hair.

"Ma, what if pants were alive."

"What ? What pants. I don't know"

"I think they would have pretty gross lives."

"Why ... ?"

"Because they always have to be, you know..., with our private part ! Jeez don't you ever think of them "

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6

Rhea is not fond of classical music except a select few. Vivaldi Four seasons is a favourite, where she likes trying to identify the seasons from each other, although it certainly is not an ideal sleep music. 

I had an unavoidable official call scheduled around midnight, hence put on a Chopin Nocturne for early sleep induction for Rhea. Number 9, to be precise and to be doubly sure.

After a good fifteen minutes, when I tried checking on the sleep status as I usually do by picking and dropping a finger let's say, she peeps half out of her pillow and asks me in a deliberate and displeased tone :

"Ma. What is that noise playing on and on.  

Can we turn it off now so I can get some sleep."

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7.

After I fix her online classes after three disconnections, and in the process, save her face in front of her class-teacher :

"Ma, you are just like an umbrella !"

Then rethinking for a second, all of one second, she comes a little closer and sliding her hands under my arms in a hug, softly adds :

"Actually you are like a warm coat. A warm coat."

I reckon the repetition is for emphasis.

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8.

And this one I need to write for Rhea to remember that we did this ever so often. And how she used to love doing this super silly sweet thing

The first time we tried, she was afraid. Standing at the edge of the bed, turning around, not looking back, counting to ten and then a slow backward fa...ll.

I catch her and ask "You trust me?" 

She smiles in relief and says "I do !"

Afraid, Unsure, Hesitant. Slipped badly once and hurt herself on falling at 3 instead of 10, but still undaunted, the brave girl suggests:

"Ma, why don't I close my eyes when I fall. It will mean more trust, no ?"

And she does it. Fall of Faith, with eyes closed and no longer afraid. Precious.

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9. 

Heeya set her Google Assistant to French.

She converses with her all the time, almost like chatting with a friend while learning the language. 

This evening at dinner table :

"Ou es-tu, Google ?" " Where are you, Google ?"

Google promptly answered :

"J'etais en train de vous preparer un petit cafe mais je suis de retour pour vous aider"

What was that - I am curious.

Heeya smiled and did a quick but wrong translation for me.

"I am on my way in a train to a small cafe, but will return whenever you need me."

Sweet. I smiled. 

After a minute, she corrected the translation.

"I am in the middle of preparing a small coffee, but will return whenever you need me." 

I liked the wrong translation better. 

It painted a picture of a day when maybe Heeya will write me a letter with that line somewhere in it. And I will see a bit of her life at someplace far away from me, with a promise to return if I ever need her. 

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